Friday, October 30, 2009

Constume Ideas Gone Wrong

So there I was...

This one is so good I am gonna have to try and remember how the dialogue went...hold up, I remember. Here it goes.

Torts. The class is ridiculously boring. I like the cases enough, but sometimes I get a little lost. My fault...and the fault of the row I sit it. We have a good time, especially on Friday's. Not only is it the end of the week, but we are all slammed and a little slap happy from studying. Anyway, my friends in this row, who will remain anonymous (but they know who they are) consist of some great folks. My study buddy sits one person away and we often get side tracked looking at fail photos or awkwardfamilyphotos (thanks for introducing it to me Josh, you saved my sanity). So this story has nothing to do with any of this, but it is just a little background.

Class ended and the young woman who sits next to me (she does not join in the blogging fun. She says it is a waste of time, but I told her it is because she does not have a sense of humor) asked what I was going to be for Halloween. Truth is, I was just planning on being the same thing I was last year, only modified because my Dad thinks the mask I made looks like a horse.

I do not want to be a horse.

So i told her that I was going to put blood on my face and call it my costume. Well, my study buddy happened to be listening in and she just had a really perplexed look as I shared this with "she-who-has-no-sense-of-humor" and on the way out the door she informed me that I could be a coal minor. Um, thanks? I love her. Wow, what a great costume idea i said, but in my head I was thinking she must be really tired. That is a terrible idea. Who dresses as a coal minor? Oh wait, any "My Bloody Valentine" fans? Pick-ax, watch out!

Anyway, we were all walking out to our cars together, joined by a few others that were not in on the previous conversation, and my study buddy and I were just talking about costumes and I was trying to explain to her what I was last year and how I was going to modify it. Finally, she turns to me and says, "No really, what are you going to be because dressing up as a black person is just not socially acceptable." What are you talking about? I turned to her and asked why I would be dressing up as a black person. Turns out that she thought when I said I was just going to put blood on my face, she thought I said I was going to put coal on my face hence the coal minor suggestion as well as the admonition to avoid the social backlash by dressing up as a black person.

Thank goodness it will be blood on my face and not coal. Oh the controversy that would rage stemming from such a small thing as coal.

Thanks for the warning study buddy. You probably saved my life.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My Stupid Face

So there I was...

I've heard that your facial expressions say more than words. Not sure what that means for anyone else, but for me it has meant a lifetime of serious self misrepresentation...I guess. I have been steaming over this topic for quite sometime now and I think it has finally boiled enough for me to articulate what I mean.

The other day I had to interview with my writing professor. The memo due was a concoction of complexities and legal jargon that was so difficult to put together we had to have personal interviews. Anyway, I went to mine and after a rather annoying time of trying to find the room it was in, I was sitting in front of my professor with this pleading look on my face. I didn't have to say anything, the facial cues were enough. We delved in and I came back out a more enlightened person. While delving, it seems my facial cues changed to reflect a more personal issue as once we surfaced her attention was immediately focused to my bachelorhood. What? Where did this come from? I don't know this woman at all and I know I didn't have my "lost my number, can I have yours" shirt on, how did she know? This is where my face deceives me. She proceeded to tell me that I was too old to be LDS and not married. "Thanks for rubbing it in" I said. Look lady, help me with my paper not my social life...I have for that. My stupid face. It betrays me. So I had to talk to her all about my dating life. It took all of about 3 seconds as there isn't currently much to tell.

Then my face did it again. Apparently there is a facial cue for "I am really picky when it comes to girls" 'cause that is what she came up with next. Grr. How does she do that!? My stupid face. Next came her strange, but well meaning, offer to set me up on dates. She was surprised when I accepted the offer. Why shouldn't I? My stupid face will just tell you I am lying if I say no. Here's the kicker though. The first person she wanted to set me up with was a 24 year old divorcee with 2 kids and the oldest is special needs...WTF? Really? It's not like I am picky, number one, in law school, number two, and don't even know you...and you want to set me up with a charity case? Sure, she is probably a great girl, and yes, if she were a pop starlett there would be no issue...but come on. It was the face again. My stupid face.

I bet it said something like "I love baggage".

Yeah, I wonder what that would look like.